Thoughts to Ponder – Page 6 – Laugh your way to peace, love and joy

Serenity is strength

July 9, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder – July 9, 2015

“With rage in heart and clenched fists, you may feel invincible.
The truth is that you have never been weaker.”
Dr. Phil McGraw¹

Life has a way of bringing our situations full circle. We face who we used to be and learn who we are now. This last week circumstances made me proud of whom I’ve become.

Many years ago I married a nice young man who said he loved me. I thought he was fun to be with, so I convinced myself that I loved him. I thought he would rescue me from my parents who set so many rules and made my life miserable. After our wedding we immediately moved across the U.S. to his military posting. We had some fun and some arguments.

After three children and several military assignments, we found that life was not so much fun and arguments were nearly non-stop. (Of course, none of this was my fault.) We parted ways, both carrying a great deal of anger and feeling fully justified in our actions. As often happens with divorced couples, our communications were rancorous and filled with threats. Eventually the children finished high school and we no longer needed to communicate. This gave us a good, long cooling off time. I could feel my anger lessen as time went by and I began to admit my contributions to the discord.

Our first visit eight years ago was touchy, but amicable. We were determined to put the past behind us. His wife and I became fast friends and I wondered where the man I had hated so many years had gone. Then he asked for directions to another relative’s city. Our daughters explained several times that he would need to go west several miles, then turn north to get there. No matter how many times they explained, he insisted, “I don’t want to go west and north. I want to go northwest.” I chuckled and said to myself. “Oh, he’s still in there.” As the years passed we’ve met a few more times with cautious conversation and our extended family has blended well.

Last weekend was the BIG event. His family always gathers for a reunion the first Sunday in July. I’ve been invited several times by various relatives, but always turned them down for fear I’d be considered an interloper or even be excoriated for my behavior. This year I decided it was time to face the crowd. I knew I had changed and thought I could handle the situation, whatever it turned out to be.

One daughter and family drove to the mountains in one vehicle. I rode with the other daughter and husband, not an auspicious beginning. Traffic jams and motion sickness reigned supreme. I spent a good part of the trip holding onto the headrest in front of me to keep from swaying and staring at it to avoid catching any movement out of the side of my eyes. Along the way I bought Dramamine but still maintained the same position until we reached our destination, feeling only slightly stable.

Of course, everyone there thought this was hilarious, but sympathized while trying to keep straight faces. As the agony dispersed I began to interact with those present and found I was having fun. The entire visit turned out to be much better than I expected. I did not keep myself sheltered emotionally, but let events happen as they would. Even frequent rainstorms did not dampen our spirits. We laughed at the children playing in the mud and cooked for many visitors. We enjoyed seeing old friends and relatives at the reunion until the rain washed out the event and we all ran for our cars.

I felt like I belonged with these wonderful people. Even the ex and I enjoyed a few laughs and “remember whens.” I knew then that we both have finally grown into the people we were supposed to be all those years ago before anger led us astray.

Oh, the trip back was much better. I took Dramamine before we left the hotel and followed their advice about resting my head against a stationary surface and keeping my eyes closed until we were out of the mountains. I’m looking forward to seeing them again – down here in the flat lands.

My conclusion was confirmed the next day at work. A man I’d never met before said, “I sense you are a calm person. You don’t have anger in you.” I didn’t know how to respond, but WOW! What a wonderful gift from a stranger!

Spirit, thank you for this gift of serenity after all those years of anger. And, so it is.

¹O, the Oprah Magazine, January 2015, pg. 41

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Decide or not

June 4, 2015June 4, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder – June 4, 2015

“If we have to seek approval from others to accept

our own choices, then we already made the wrong choice.”
Window of Wisdom^*

A few days ago I wrote about accepting, or not, another’s behavior and fretting about what they are doing. Today I’m going to approach the same topic from a different angle – our own.

We know instinctively what is best for us, so why do we seek another’s advice before taking action? Perhaps it is the way we were raised or our decisions were devalued as adults. Possibly we were told so many times that we couldn’t make a decision if our lives depended upon it, that we came to believe it. How we arrived at this dependent behavior doesn’t matter. What matters is what we choose to do about it.

Do we continue relying on our friends and relatives to advise our decisions, or do we just jump in, make a decision and live with the results? If we jump in it is most likely that our decision will be confirmed in any number of ways.

I must admit that after many years of learning to make my own choices I started to slip back into indecision. A situation arose that had me stuck. I knew what to do, but I feared the feedback. This lack of confidence made me question my ability to decide. My indecision lead me to write a rambling email to a friend asking for advice. Just as I prepared to send the email my computer froze and the email was lost. Losing that email made me realize that:

– the decision was mine and only mine, and that

– I had no business asking my friend to become involved in my problem.

I wrote my friend another email saying that I had a difficult decision to make and would tell him what I planned when I made it. After sleeping on the problem, I still feared the responses I might receive, but took the necessary action and began to breathe easier. Imagine my surprise when I received emails from several people saying that they approved my choice.

I am grateful for this gentle reminder that I need to make my own decisions. Practicing small decisions gives me the confidence to make the right choice when the stakes are much larger, as they can be as we age. I find that there are times to rely on my daughters. Other situations don’t require their advice. If I lean on them too much, they may begin to worry that I am losing my capacity to make good decisions.

And, so it is.

^* Window 787, by awindowofwisdom@wordpress.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Fussing and Fretting

May 28, 2015May 28, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder – May 28, 2015

“The focus of our own behavior should be our primary focus.”

Window of Wisdom¹

“The energy we lose in fretting, we would gain with a smile.”

Pamela Harper²

How often do we think, or say, “Work would be wonderful if it wasn’t for my coworker who rambles on and on at staff meetings and my boss who expects miracles.” Or perhaps, “My marriage would be wonderful if only my husband/wife wasn’t such a jerk.” It may be true that our coworker, boss and life partner are complete and total jerks. If they are, there is nothing we can do to change them. We have to either accept their behaviors or move on to something better.

Of course, our own behaviors are exemplary. Don’t we wish? An old saying goes something like, “For every finger we point at someone else, four are pointing back at us.” Yet, pointing fingers seems to be our primary occupation. We love to criticize everyone and everything that is contrary to what we believe or how we think we act.

While we are pointing our fingers, we are also fretting about how the other person’s behavior is going to affect us. We just think that their misbehavior will reflect badly on us. Most likely it won’t, but if it does we won’t be held responsible.

We also fret about all sorts of things that will most likely never happen. “If I buy a new car, some fool will put a dent in it.” True. Eventually, all cars get dents and scratches. “If I tell the doctor about my stomach ache, he/she will put me in the hospital and run all sorts of tests.” Possibly, and just as probably, the doctor will tell you that your stomach hurts because you’re eating something that isn’t good for you. All you have to do is eliminate that item and all will be well. I know, that particular food is delicious and life will be miserable without it. However, we just might learn to like celery if we smile when we eat it.

I’ve been fretting a lot lately about health issues. Nothing is seriously wrong. I just have several minor issues that need attention. I’m not fretting that I have a terrible condition. I’m fretting because my issues require temporary exercise and outdoor limitations, the weather is beautiful and I want to be outside having fun this time of year. I’m fretting and pouting about something very minor in the larger view of life experiences. Yet to me, they seem gigantic and fretting is draining the energy I could be using for something productive, even if it is in the house. I might think, “This will give me time to dust the ceiling fan.” Yeah, right!

At the same time I’m pointing my finger at my health care providers because their treatments are causing my short-term discomfort. My health care providers did not cause these issues, my own carelessness did. Over the years I have been careless about following their advice, so now I’m paying the price. Luckily, the price is very low when compared to what other people endure. I’m grateful that my discomfort is minor and I want it to stay that way.

As a result, I’m asking my guides to gently remind me to accept the blame for my problems, take steps to care for my health (and other issues) and stop thinking that anything else is more important. It’s hard to face, but a step I must take. I cannot blame my old behaviors on anyone but myself and fretting about the results harms no one but me. Well, except for the people who have to listen to me complain.

And, so it is.

¹ Window 781, by awindowofwisdom@wordpress.com

²Pamela Harper, pamela@pamelaharper.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Express your gratitude

May 17, 2015May 17, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder – May 17, 2015

“The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who
has done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.”
Russel Lynes¹

Gratitude is not just to be felt, but also to be expressed. Too often we feel grateful for someone who has done something nice for us, but we often do not express our gratitude. We say, “Thanks” or “Ok, nice” and let it go at that. Yet when we do something nice for others, we hope that they will express their thanks in a more effusive manner, such as, “Oh, what a wonderful thing you did. I really appreciate your hard work.”

Often this happens because of the way we were raised. Erma Bombeck once wrote, “I’m going to call my dad to tell him I love him – and listen to him say, ‘This call is costing you a fortune’ and hang up.”² My parents grew up during the Depression when people had very little money to buy gifts. As a result when they received a gift or kindness, they often questioned the giver’s ability to provide that gift. For example, my mother would usually say something like, “This is pretty, but it costs too much,” not quite as curt as Erma Bombeck’s dad, but the words still hurt.

Six or seven years ago, I felt so frustrated that I said, “Mom, you take all the fun out of giving.” She responded, “My friend recently told me that I take the blessing out of giving.” I replied that her friend was right. Mom became somewhat more expressive of her gratitude after that.

An excellent example of this happened when I was in high school. My church’s youth group planned a spring break trip to New York City. I saved up as much money as I could and my parents added the rest even though it stretched their budget to the limit. A few days before the trip my geometry teacher asked me to stay after class. My imagination saw all sorts of terrible situations. When class was over I reluctantly made my way to her desk only to learn that she was gifting me with $20 to spend however I wished on the trip. While on the trip, I budgeted carefully, did not spend the $20 and purchased a $1 or $2 souvenir for her to express my gratitude. My parents congratulated me on my frugality.

On my first day back to school I presented the teacher with the trinket and she thanked me. Pleased with her gratitude, I gave her the $20 and told her I didn’t need it. With a sad face, she responded, “I know you didn’t need it, but I wanted you to enjoy yourself a little more than your budget would allow.” I didn’t understand the impact of returning the money until much later. I was an ungrateful receiver of her kindness. My pride had not let me spend her generous gift.

As I look back I realize how much I hurt her feelings and know that I cannot make amends since she has long since left earthly life. The only way I can repay her kindness is to do as Anne Morrow Lindbergh said, “One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay ‘in kind’ somewhere else in life.”³

I ask my Guides to remind me more often of all that has been lovingly given and to pay it forward as often as I can.
And, so it is.

¹ Reader’s Digest 1954, listed in The New Penquin Dictionary of Modern Quotations
²Treasury of Women’s Quotations, pg 67, Carolyn Warner, Prentice Hall
³Treasury of Women’s Quotations, pg 144, Carolyn Warner, Prentice Hall

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

What’s normal? Thoughts to Ponder – May 11, 2015

May 11, 2015May 11, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Humor, Thoughts to Ponder

“If you are always trying to be normal
you will never know how amazing you can be.”
Maya Angelou*

“Life can only be understood backward;
but it must be lived forwards.”
Soren Kierkegarrd*

Life is filled with contradictions. Last week I was filled with despair because I felt I did not live up to certain alumnae expectations. Of course, by the time I finished writing my sob-story, the despair was gone. Just putting the words on paper gave my thoughts structure and evaporated anxiety’s power it held when flying around my brain hitting this nerve or that sore spot.

Today’s quotes put that angst and recovery in perspective. I am not and never will be normal, whatever that is. Only by looking back can I understand how amazing graduating college at age 47 was.

I began my life by being born with a full head of bright red hair on Valentine’s Day. That put me in the not-normal category before I had done anything more interesting than burp. Since my mother had brown hair and my father had white/blonde hair the predominant question the rest of my childhood was, “Where did she get that red hair?” The naturally related comment was, “Oh, you have so many freckles!” All this was happening when my goal was to get a tan like normal people. Covering up at the beach when everyone else was stretched out in the sand was misery.

The next thing that not-normal thing that happened was my making the honor roll every year until I quit trying. My parents were children of the Depression. School was not high on many parents’ priority list – food and work were the top issues. My parents did not lack intellectual ability, they just lacked education. So the second question was, “How did she get so smart?” I was proud of being smart, but tired of the insinuations that my parents were dumb. Even I thought they were dumb until I was old enough to look back and saw how much they had accomplished.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I was not considered normal by most adults or classmates. How I longed to be like everyone else. I’ll just say that feeling alienated led me to make some “stupid” mistakes that led to gifts like my children, travel, library cards in many locations and unusual experiences.

Now that I’ve reached the mature age of 25 and have four great-grandchildren, the “other blonde” has softened the red in my hair. People are now aware of skin-cancer and the need to cover-up. So I look more normal. Thanks to public information and television shows like “Scorpion” and “Big Bang Theory” about people who have IQs much higher than mine, I’m considered normal, though an usually young great-grandmother.

Now I can look backward and understand that I’ve had an amazing life and have an amazing future to contemplate. What more can I ask of life? I thank Universal Energy for all the experiences that brought me to where I am today, even though they seemed difficult at the time.

And, so it is.

*Both quotes are from “Inspiration, 5-7-15 Defy Ordinary” by Pamela Harper, http://www.pamelaharper.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Thoughts to Ponder – May 5, 2015, Pain and joy

May 5, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

“Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests,
and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes parts
of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined.
No one would call it easy, but the rhythm of emotional
pain that we learn to tolerate is natural, constructive,
and expansive. It’s different from the sting of decay;
the pain leaves you healthier than it found you.”
Martha Beck*

This quote came at the perfect time.

This afternoon I received my Alverno College alumnae magazine. As those publications do, it highlighted outstanding alumnae and their achievements. I’m extremely proud that I graduated from this top-ranked college in only five years at the age of 47 while working full-time. That schedule precluded participating in student events and making close friends, a part of the “normal” college experience. However, my BA degree allowed me to earn promotions that previously would have been out of my reach. Yet reading the magazine, I wondered if they are proud of me. A profound sadness fell over me as I thought they would not be.

A series of life choices led me to attend Alverno at that particular time in my life. I married shortly out of high school, basically to leave home and my hometown. We had some fun, some tough times and three wonderful children. Yet, over the years I determined that this was not what I wanted from life and left the marriage, taking the children with me.

Life as a single mother was hard – and rewarding. Other experiences led me down a path that was often enjoyable, but sometimes miserable. At one point after college, I was working three part-time jobs. All were interesting and great learning experiences, but not where I anticipated I’d be after college.

Then came the day when all my children and sons-in-law were out of the military and had settled lives. I decided to retire at 55 and move to Virginia so I could get to know my adult daughters, their husbands and children while they were still young. This was the best decision of my life. We became friends and I adore my four great-grandsons. If I had waited until 65 to retire, all these loving family members would be strangers. There are times when I think I’m more of a burden than a contributor, but that is my impression to correct.

Since I moved here I’ve had some exciting jobs and some depressing jobs. My jobs now are excellent for retired people, not for career building. At this point in my life I do not want to build a career, I want to experience peace, love and joy and meet interesting people along the way. I have met some dear friends and teachers. I wish we could be closer friends. Whose fault is that? Definitely mine, because I hesitate to reach out to them. Instead I sit at home and wish they would call me.

All this is a long way to say that I’ve experienced every word of Martha Beck’s quote. I know that all she said is true. As I look back on my various experiences I can see the highs, lows, pains and the lessons they presented. Every experience taught me something I needed to learn.

Today’s lesson was to accept all my experiences, even those that seemed to be terrible mistakes. I must accept myself where I am today. It is never too late to begin a new phase, a new adventure. I ask you to hold me to that knowledge and not let me waste my time fretting and moaning.

And, so it is.

*Daily Inspiration, May 5, 2015, from “The Willingness Factor: Learn to Avoid Avoidance” by Martha Beck, Inc.

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Thoughts to Ponder – April 29, 2015

April 29, 2015April 29, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

“Don’t worry about losing your way.
If you do, pain will remind you to find your path again.
Joy will let you know when you are back on it.”
Martha Beck*

We all feel lost at some time in our lives. Even those who appear to have their lives in perfect order have felt lost, but have found their way back to their true path. Some are fortunate to know their future goal from the time they are children and follow the path that will take them there. Others found their path as young adults. Some of us find our path late in life after stumbling around and banging our heads into trees that stand in our way.

As Beck says, “pain will remind you to find your path again.” I’ve felt that pain over and over, not knowing what direction I should be travelling. That’s not to say that each path has been a disaster. On the contrary, each path has given me gifts and taught me valuable lessons. One path gave me three beautiful children who grew to be fantastic adults. Another path taught me about inter-racial relations. One taught me about holding on to useless hope. The list continues. Often I tried to walk two or three paths at once. Talk about confusion.

If we follow our inner guidance, we reach the day when Beck says, “Joy will let you know when you are back on it.” What a gift to know that we are spending our days as we should. A feeling of peace and joy will fill our hours rather than fear and dread.

Some days I still feel bogged down, but find that I’ve just reached a huge mud-puddle in the middle of my path. I have learned, but don’t always remember right away, to look around and see what steps I can take to avoid the mess. I give thanks to Spirit that when this happens and I feel confused, a prompting tells me, “Hey look over here. There’s a plank crossing the mud puddle. You can walk on that rather than slogging through that mess.”

Our life does not come with a guarantee for happiness. Even those we envy have days, weeks, or years of heartbreak and challenges. We can learn to examine those times to learn if this is an obstacle we should avoid or one that will lead us to a better way of living. By being quiet and listening to guidance, paying attention to the underlying messages in our dreams and just listening to others, we learn whether we are on the correct path or if we need to look for another route.

And, so it is.

*Daily Inspiration, April 29, 2015, from “Leaving the Saints” by Martha Beck, Inc.

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Thoughts to Ponder – Earth Day -April 21, 2015

April 22, 2015April 22, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

“Sometimes, I laugh so hard,
it starts a hurricane in the heavens.
Sometimes, I grin so wide,
it causes earthquakes on distant planets.
And, sometimes, when I feel so happy I could float,
worlds are born, continents rise, and oceans surge.
But never, ever, ever,
do I lay so much as a finger on planet Earth.
Because there, my work is long over,
and yours has just begun.
... Trust me, this barely hints of your true power….”
The Universe*

Today is Earth Day and, to me, this quote is apropos to its significance. I’m not going to lecture you on recycling, driving a smaller car or wearing a bicycle helmet. Rather I’m going to talk about something even more important to the future of our Earth – each of us as individuals.

For me the key lines in this quote are “But never, ever, ever, do I lay so much as a finger on planet Earth. Because there, my work is long over, and yours has just begun.”

Where do we start doing that work? Being kind to others? Yes. Being kind to animals? Yes. Planting trees? Yes. However, before we can do that we must first take care of ourselves.

“But…but…but….” you say. I say there are no “buts.” We MUST take care of ourselves first. How can we raise compassionate, responsible children if we do not treat ourselves compassionately and responsibly? How can we treat other people and animals kindly if we don’t do the same for ourselves.

We must take time to relax.

We must stop and watch a sunset.

We must watch a movie that makes us laugh until we cry.

Only by taking care of ourselves first can we take adequate care of those for whom we are responsible. We must be sure that we are strong, healthy and well rested in order to provide for those we love and by extension our community and our Earth.

Enough lecture. I hope your Earth Day is beautiful and happy and that you smile all day.

*TUT – A Note from the Universe, April 20, 2015, aka Mike Dooley, www.tut.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Thoughts to Ponder – April 16, 2015

April 16, 2015April 16, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

“When our energy feels drained,
we have allowed others to plug into us,
without taking the time needed for oursel(ves),
to recharge.”
Window of Wisdom*

How often have we allowed others to drain our energy in order to please them? We were raised to be kind, thoughtful and caring by our parents, teachers and religious leaders. All of those are good traits. We interpreted our teachings to mean give, give, give.

This is because we were not taught that in order to give we have to take care of ourselves first, usually because our role models did not know how to take care of themselves. I remember watching my mother and aunts work until they were ready to drop taking care of everyone in the family. Our fathers and uncles worked their jobs/farms, came home and made repairs and then went to a neighbor’s house to do what needed done there.

They did this day after day. Taking a break to rest or relaxing was considered selfish. No matter how bad life was for them, someone else had it worse and needed their help. They became exhausted because they were not nurturing themselves. As the years passed we saw their bodies fail from overwork.

As our generation grew to adulthood, some of us followed our parents’ model. Others became takers. As the years passed most of us learned that there is a middle way, healthier for all. We have learned that we must not only give to others, but we must also take time for ourselves. Only in this way can we keep the energy flowing – in both directions.

It doesn’t matter how we take care of ourselves. Perhaps we dance or practice yoga, bike or garden, or read until our eyes close and we slip into a restful nap. I do all of the above, different methods for different days.

The point is that by taking time to heal myself mentally, physically and spiritually, I have more energy to give others. I pushed myself to the limit while raising my children, much to their detriment and my regret. During the years between their leaving home and my introduction to my grandchildren, I learned a new way, to take care of myself first.

Now I work, spend time with my great-grandsons, read, meditate, spend time enjoying the outdoors and write. I’m not all the way there, because I find writing healing and restful, but it seems to be lowest on my list of things to do for myself.

*Window 742 – Don’t diminish your light, April 15, 2015 at https://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”
Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists
Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Listen to your Inner Pup

April 11, 2015April 11, 2015 by energywriter, posted in Thoughts to Ponder

Thoughts to Ponder – April 9, 2015

“Today, give love and comfort to the starving pup inside you.
Then let the love and comfort guide any action you take.
It’s a simple little practice.
It might not save the world.
But then again, it might.”

Martha Beck*

We all have an inner pup even if we don’t think so. Most of us deny its existence and starve the poor thing thinking that the persona we portray to others is the real us.

Some of us were fortunate to be nurtured by family and friends allowing our inner pup to grow to be a strong, healthy dog as we grew to maturity. Those inner dogs learned to love and protect us.

Often something terrible happened along the way that caused us put the young dog in a pen. These are the animals that tend to bite or at last snarl at perceived attackers. We reflect those behaviors when we feel threatened.

Others of us were never allowed to let our pup grow. Perhaps the cause was verbal or physical brutality, or simply unreasonably high expectations. “You will be an A+ student, outstanding athlete, and succeed in business, thus bringing honor your family.” These actions and unmet expectations kept our pup in its training cage so it could not run and play as it grew. Since our pup couldn’t mature, neither could we.

My family believed that dreams were for others. Our job was to grow strong, work hard and have a little fun, and if we were lucky die peacefully without pain. No expectations can hinder the pup, just as unreasonably high expectations can.

Even though my parents were proud of me making the honor roll they seldom mentioned it because it might make others feel badly if their children didn’t do the same. When I reached middle school and teachers began suggesting that I prepare for college, I was told that college was for rich people. Besides the professors would teach me useless information and erase my common sense.

Somehow my inner pup told me that I had to leave that area if I wanted to fulfill my dreams, whatever they were. I’d never allowed myself to envision or verbalize a dream. That led me to accept a marriage proposal from a military man. Whatever happened, I’d get to see some of the world. I had three fantastic children, met some wonderful people and lived in places I’d never imagined. Even with all those gifts, one day my inner pup told me to leave my marriage. I did and experienced life’s ups and downs over the next several years.

One of those gifts was the day I read an article about area colleges and my pup began barking like crazy. Even though I had no savings and could barely meet my bills, I listened to her advice and enrolled at Alverno College in Milwaukee. I graduated five years later with less student debt than most of my classmates. My pup had even found some grants and fellowship dollars. That education led me to some good jobs , the ones that sounded like fun. Those that weren’t so good were jobs I sought simply for higher wages.

As I approached 55 my inner pup began barking again leading me to retire early so I could live near my children and grandchildren here in Virginia. She told me that if I waited until full retirement age my grandchildren would be adults and strangers to me. I took the leap and became friends with my sons-in-law and grandchildren. Now I have four great-grandsons who are the light of my heart.

Even with all her good advice, I still tend to push my pup into her cage when I think something else is more important than what she has to say. Sometimes I listen to her. While sitting at the doctor’s office I allowed my pup to speak through my pen instead of reading or working a puzzle. This blog is the result.

Much of the time my inner pup is confused because my to-do list is so long. But, I’ve learned that IF I listen to my furry buddy, she’ll lead me in the correct direction.

*Blog article, Loving your Inner Pup . . . Insight from Martha, Martha Beck Inc.

If you know someone who would appreciate reading “Thoughts to Ponder,” please suggest that he or she contact me at: energywriter@cox.net

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com