Nothing is Permanent

Thoughts to Ponder – March 12, 2016

“… the only way to find permanent joy is by embracing

the fact that nothing is permanent.”*

Non-permanence is a hard concept to grasp. From the time we were very small we were taught about the difference between permanent and temporary. Our parents taught us that candy is temporary, but that they would never leave us. When we started first grade they told us that our baby teeth would fall out and would be replaced by permanent teeth. Then teachers told us to behave or it would go on our permanent record.

As we matured we learned that candy was not only temporary, but also that “a moment on the lips is forever on the hips,” was true. Eventually, we chose to leave home or our parents left us by disagreement or by death. Our baby teeth fell out. Some permanent teeth may have disappeared too. We learned that our childhood misdemeanors didn’t follow us into the work world.

We learned that many things we thought were forever, weren’t – friends, marriages, good jobs and, and, and…. We learned that “happily ever after” was a myth, but on the bright side, so was “sadly ever after.” An example of a difficult lesson learned is that I once worked with a woman who frustrated me. When I complained about something, she nodded and said, “This too shall pass.” When I bragged that something wonderful happened, she smiled and said, “This too shall pass.” Eventually her lesson that nothing is permanent began to sink into my belief system.

The world has evolved dramatically. We may not feel comfortable with the rapid changes. Our old ideas about how things work no longer apply. I wonder if I have shifted my belief system enough to keep up with all those changes. All I can do is try to keep current. However, the biggest change I see is personal. I think differently about life, God and myself. For example, I see myself as a nice person, kind to puppies and understanding of other people’s foibles. Yet I know I could do better, so I’ll continuing looking for change.

Other people can’t change me. Only I can work that miracle, but good intentions won’t do the job. I wish I could say, “From now on I’ll be kind to every person I meet no matter how they act or what they say,” and it would instantly occur, but that’s not possible. What I can do is what we discussed in last week’s Thoughts to Ponder: determine that I want to redefine who I am and watch it happen, a little each day.

Spirit,

Thank you for showing us that nothing is permanent, whether it is pain or joy. We know that even the oceans and the mountains change over time and so must we. Change can be painful or easy and joyful. Either way, the change will be for the better if we allow it to happen in its own way.

And, so it is.

*Beck, Martha, Daily Inspiration, info@marthabeck.com, March 9, 2016

© by Sharon D. Dillon, March 12, 2016

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.

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Watch your thoughts

Thoughts to Ponder – March 6, 2016

 “The way to start changing your mind is not to

force it or command it but to watch it.”

Martha Beck*

 Many of us have been told since we were small children that if we want something we need to work hard and stay focused. That tactic often leads to frustration rather than to adjusting our thinking or obtaining peace of mind.

I’ve learned, the hard way, that when I want to change my behavior I do not succeed on determination alone. For example, I may decide to exercise more and even purchase a gym membership. But, I seldom go to the gym unless I have an exercise partner who keeps reminding me that it’s workout day.

However, if I say to myself and the Universe, “I’d like to get more exercise,” and not worry about how that will happen, I find that situations arise that require muscle use. Perhaps a storm comes and I need to rake the yard and carry debris to the compost pile. Possibly, I’ll need a small item or two from the store. I usually say, “That’s not worth driving the car. I’ll walk to the store.”

The same applies to eating healthy food. If I decide to diet all sorts of tempting yummies pop up in front of my face and call my name. If I say, “I choose to eat healthy,’ and release the outcome, I find that my food choices are healthier, even when tempting desserts are on the table.

One of my biggest problems was to see certain people in the light of what they did to me. That trait caused me mental and physical anguish over the years. What we think about becomes evident in our bodies with chronic headaches, back aches, compulsive eating and other issues. So how do we reverse those situations and let go of the physical pain? We must realize that we choose to experience our life as it is. I know this gets into the whoo-whoo view of life, but I’ve found it makes sense.

For example, I was married twice – to jerks. Whose decision was that? Mine. Different people suggested that perhaps these men were not the best choice, but I chose not to listen. Unhappy work experiences – the same. Just because a job pays more money doesn’t mean it will give more satisfaction. An unhappy person tends to take it out on others. They react in kind. All these events seemed to prove that everyone was conspiring to make me miserable.

Eventually, I learned that my thoughts and actions were creating these unpleasant experiences. When I became aware that, just perhaps, my complaining caused people to dislike my company, I asked the Universe to help me complain less. When I realized that I had an option other than fearing what awaited me at home, I asked myself and if there was a way to leave the situation.

As far as my parents were concerned, well, they treated me better than they had been treated.

I repeated the “tradition” with my children. Even thought I became aware of other options, I just didn’t know how to implement them, Sometimes I was so frustrated by life that I took it out on them. Just knowing that there were other ways to raise children, gave me the impetus to change. I told myself and the Universe that I wanted to be a better parent. Parenting books came to my attention. School counselors suggested a better way. Little by little I improved my skills. I still made a lot of mistakes, but I must have changed some, because my children are now an important part of my life.

Situations don’t come into our lives to give us grief, even though it often seems that way. Events happen to help us grow into the people we are capable of being. It’s our choice how we respond to those events. We can fall into the poor me pit or we can chose to find a solution. I know this is true, because I spent many years in that nasty pit. It was only when I wanted to find a way out that I began to see a little blue sky here or a ray of sun there. I was able to start climbing up to the surface. I’m not dancing on sunshine yet, but I’m beginning to hear a few notes from the band.

I used a lot of words to say that when you want to change the easiest way is to state your problem to yourself and the Universe. Part two is to not worry about how and release the outcome. Step three is to do something else while you are waiting for the miracle. Mike Dooley expressed it well in a recent message from the Universe.

“Often the very most spiritual thing one can do is get busy. Physically busy.

Hoeing, chopping, planting. Connecting, moving, grooving. Dipping, swirling, twirling….”**

Spirit,

Sometimes we are sunk in despair up to our necks and see no way out. We ask you to show us how to move from fear and anger toward joy. We know it may be a short step or a long walk. Either way we know that if we ask for an option it will come into our awareness and prompt us to necessary action.

And, so it is.

*Beck, Martha, Daily Inspiration, info@marthabeck.com, February 26, 2016

**Dooley, Mike, TUT – A note from the Universe, theuniverse@tut.com, March 4, 2016

© by Sharon D. Dillon, March 6, 2016

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.