Speak your Mind

Thoughts to Ponder

 “Give it a thought. Consider every angle. And then speak your mind.

You’ve not been drawn into anyone’s life just to listen.

You’re not here to be quiet.”

The Universe*

 This is a different message than what many of us were taught as children. Be quiet, listen, and learn were our daily lessons from both parents and teachers. Those were good lessons to be sure. How can we learn if we don’t listen to others?

A better lesson is to compare the speakers’ words to their actions. That way we will know if they are speaking from their hearts. Are they really saying something we need to learn or as our elders used to say, “… just talking to hear themselves,”?

For many years I thought my job was to listen and obey. Then I learned that I might have an opinion worth speaking. At that point no one could silence me. I talked on and on about anything on my mind. I knew so much and needed to share it. That behavior led to teachers and parents frequently saying, “Sit down and shut up.”

At one job a coworker had a pointed way of making me aware of my behavior. I would start to talk without knowing where her attention was focused. When she realized I was talking, she’d look me in the eye and ask, “You babbled?” Our supervisor was offended by her bluntness, but I knew that she was reminding me to be sure the other person was listening before speaking. I was beginning to become aware that I was a nuisance – to say it politely.

Years later another supervisor told me, “You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in proportion.” He was saying the same thing that the quote says. We must listen, think and consider before we speak. It is important for us to say what is on our minds, but we need to have our thoughts in order first. Only in that way can we effectively share what we know.

It took a while for that message to sink into my brain and begin to transform my communication patterns. I must admit, I still like to hear myself talk, but I do a better job of using my ears and mouth in the correct ratio.

We learn more by listening more. That is not to say we shouldn’t speak up about things that concern us. We must speak whatever is weighing on our minds. If we don’t speak up to right injustice, who will? We have to decide when and where to use our voice or written word. Speaking out on too many issues leaves our message scattered and ineffective. If we speak out in the wrong place at the wrong time we become that nuisance I mentioned earlier. By listening, thinking and considering before we speak, we can discern whether the other person will accept our words.

Spirit,

Thank you for providing this valuable lesson. Help us to use that wisdom in our daily lives.

And, so it is.

* TUT – A note from the Universe, Mike Dooley, September 14, 2016

© by Sharon D. Dillon, October 12, 2016

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy” Author of Echoes of your Choices, 2016, available as a paperback or e-book at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other online sites.

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Voices of Williamsburg Toastmasters Club.

Advertisements

Take Care of Yourself First

Thoughts to Ponder – September 11,2016

 “When we let what others are doing or not doing become a part of our

every day life, it is we who are not doing our own life.”

 A Window of Wisdom*

How easy it is to become involved in another person’s drama. We spend hours trying to find a solution for a friend who is dealing with a seemingly unsolvable problem. We should be concerned about our friends. However, we need to find a balance between concern and obsession. Over-thinking anything – elections, football, weather, job, friends, lovers and so on is harmful to our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.

Being concerned without becoming involved in another’s problem is sometimes difficult, but doable. When someone shares a problem, we can say “I’m sorry you are facing this dilemma. How would you like me to help?” Usually she just wants a willing listener. If she is seeking a solution, we can offer a suggestion or two then remind her that she has to decide what action to take or not. Then we let go of the problem. It is not ours to carry.

We tend to get mired in our own problems. We spend hours, days, or weeks pondering our ability to resolve the issue and how this crisis will affect our future. These valid concerns deserve our attention, but not to the point of supplanting other facets of our lives. Our personal crisis tends to swirl around in our brains at the most inconvenient times. Trying to push it out of our minds is futile.

A better option is to allot a time to concentrate on that issue. Some ways are to read about the subject, talk to a trusted adviser, write a list of possible solutions, or meditate. Even better, do all of them. After evaluating the situation we will probably have a solution or at least a step or two to take that will lead to a resolution. For example, we can decide to take this action and if that works the problem is solved. If not, then we can try step two and see where that leads. Many times the result will not be what we think it should be, but will lead us in a direction with better options.

Spirit,

Thank you for reminding us to place our attention where it belongs and that we can’t resolve anyone’s problems but our own. You’ve given us steps to find solutions and the ability to decide the proper action. We chose to use those options.

And, so it is.

*A Window of Wisdom, September 2, 2016, https://awindowofwiscome.wordpress.com

© by Sharon D. Dillon, September 11, 2016

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy” Author of Echoes of your Choices, 2016, available as an e-book or paperback at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other online sites.

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Voices of Williamsburg Toastmasters Club.

Not enough time?

Thoughts to Ponder – November 11, 2015

“One of the most essential tasks for living a life of purpose and joy is to command your time, rather than let it command you.”

Martha Beck*

 Martha said it so well. In this age of doing more with less and over-scheduling ourselves with work, family and community demands we tend to live by the clock. As a result we feel constantly pressed for time. We feel there is just not enough time in the day to do what we want to do. And, if you’re like me, you’re thinking “Where did 2015 go? It’s almost Christmas. Did we even have a summer?” It seems that every year gets shorter. Or, is that my imagination?

Today is a day of reflection on the sacrifices our veterans and their families have made for each of us. We need to take some time to thank those we can and reflect on the contributions of those who have gone before. Regrettably, many of us look at the calendar and say, “Today is Veteran’s Day. That means the banks are closed. Darn, I should have gone yesterday,” making this day just another time issue.

Remember the old saying, “Take time to smell the roses.” As trite as it has become, those words hold a lot of truth. While we must give adequate time and energy to our jobs and commitments, we can do a lot more rose smelling.

We can take a moment to listen to what our child is telling us. We can take a moment to listen to the birds sing or watch a leaf float to the ground. We can take a moment to deeply enjoy that first sip of coffee, inhale the aroma, feel the warmth on our lips, hold the taste on our tongues, experience the warmth spreading throughout our bodies and notice the alertness coming to our eyes and ears.

Do we envy the person who is over-worked? Do we envy the person whose stress level is 15 minutes short of a stroke or heart attack? Of course not. We envy the people who command their time, finding moments to regenerate their lives and their souls.

Each of us can take a moment to be grateful for our own existence and the people in them. We can be grateful that we have events in our lives that make us think we are too busy to take a moment to express that gratitude. A quick “Thank you” tossed out in the midst of our busy-ness will reach its target and be acknowledged.

Spirit,

Thank you for this new day. Show me how to use each moment wisely. I choose to be the highest and best I can be this day.

And, so it is.

* Daily Inspiration, Martha Beck, November 11, 2015 info@marthabeck.com

© by Sharon D. Dillon, November 11, 2015

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.

Listen to your heart

Thoughts to Ponder – October 21, 2015

“Listen to your heart. It knows all things,

because it came from the Soul of the World,

and it will one day return there.”

The Alchemist*

 

Listening to our hearts is often difficult. Some people do it instinctively. Regrettably, most of us tend to listen to outside voices, rather than our hearts and bodies.

Just watch a newborn and you will see that he knows what he needs. She cries when she is hungry and automatically turns to her mother’s breast. He cries when he is wet and we respond by changing his diaper. Of course, we’ve all experienced times when neither the bottle nor the diaper meet the baby’s needs and we pace the floor for hours trying to soothe her. The baby knows what he needs, but we are thinking in adult mode, so are unable to provide it.

As we grow we are taught to conform to expected norms. We sit still in school, do our homework, then sit in front of the television because our parents fear what lies outside. I’m not saying that the fear is unreasonable. It just doesn’t fit what our bodies and hearts need.

We continue to grow along those patterns and follow anticipated social norms. Then one day we are adults who don’t know what we want to do, just that what we are doing doesn’t feel right. We are unhappy and make those around us unhappy. Too many souls return to the Universe with sad hearts.

Some of us rebel and are considered learning disabled or socially unacceptable. Many people who contribute scientific discoveries or beauty to our world are slotted into that category.

Some of us don’t comprehend our path until we are older and have to dig down into our souls to find the courage to follow our hearts. The change can be difficult, but rewarding with old worries, heavy hearts and body pains fading away as we begin follow our new, but original paths.

A few of us are fortunate to understand our calling while still children and are encouraged by those around us to follow our hearts. What a joy to live that life!

If we as adults can learn to follow our hearts we will raise a whole generation of children who live according to their hearts. Can you imagine how wonderful that will be?

Spirit,

Please open our souls to hear to our hearts calling. We know they never stopped calling. We stopped listening. We choose to live according to our heart knowledge, realizing that we and everyone around us will be happier. We choose to return to the Universe with happy hearts.

And, so it is.

* The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, pg. 132, HarperCollins Publishers

© by Sharon D. Dillon, October 21, 2015

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.

Thoughts to Ponder – April 29, 2015

“Don’t worry about losing your way.
If you do, pain will remind you to find your path again.
Joy will let you know when you are back on it.”
Martha Beck*

We all feel lost at some time in our lives. Even those who appear to have their lives in perfect order have felt lost, but have found their way back to their true path. Some are fortunate to know their future goal from the time they are children and follow the path that will take them there. Others found their path as young adults. Some of us find our path late in life after stumbling around and banging our heads into trees that stand in our way.

As Beck says, “pain will remind you to find your path again.” I’ve felt that pain over and over, not knowing what direction I should be travelling. That’s not to say that each path has been a disaster. On the contrary, each path has given me gifts and taught me valuable lessons. One path gave me three beautiful children who grew to be fantastic adults. Another path taught me about inter-racial relations. One taught me about holding on to useless hope. The list continues. Often I tried to walk two or three paths at once. Talk about confusion.

If we follow our inner guidance, we reach the day when Beck says, “Joy will let you know when you are back on it.” What a gift to know that we are spending our days as we should. A feeling of peace and joy will fill our hours rather than fear and dread.

Some days I still feel bogged down, but find that I’ve just reached a huge mud-puddle in the middle of my path. I have learned, but don’t always remember right away, to look around and see what steps I can take to avoid the mess. I give thanks to Spirit that when this happens and I feel confused, a prompting tells me, “Hey look over here. There’s a plank crossing the mud puddle. You can walk on that rather than slogging through that mess.”

Our life does not come with a guarantee for happiness. Even those we envy have days, weeks, or years of heartbreak and challenges. We can learn to examine those times to learn if this is an obstacle we should avoid or one that will lead us to a better way of living. By being quiet and listening to guidance, paying attention to the underlying messages in our dreams and just listening to others, we learn whether we are on the correct path or if we need to look for another route.

And, so it is.

© by Sharon D. Dillon, April 29, 2015

*Daily Inspiration, April 29, 2015, from “Leaving the Saints” by Martha Beck, Inc.

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com