Fussing and Fretting

Thoughts to Ponder – May 28, 2015

 “The focus of our own behavior should be our primary focus.”

Window of Wisdom1

“The energy we lose in fretting, we would gain with a smile.”

Pamela Harper2

How often do we think, or say, “Work would be wonderful if it wasn’t for my coworker who rambles on and on at staff meetings and my boss who expects miracles.” Or perhaps, “My marriage would be wonderful if only my husband/wife wasn’t such a jerk.” It may be true that our coworker, boss and life partner are complete and total jerks. If they are, there is nothing we can do to change them. We have to either accept their behaviors or move on to something better.

Of course, our own behaviors are exemplary. Don’t we wish? An old saying goes something like, “For every finger we point at someone else, four are pointing back at us.” Yet, pointing fingers seems to be our primary occupation. We love to criticize everyone and everything that is contrary to what we believe or how we think we act.

While we are pointing our fingers, we are also fretting about how the other person’s behavior is going to affect us.  We just think that their misbehavior will reflect badly on us. Most likely it won’t, but if it does we won’t be held responsible.

We also fret about all sorts of things that will most likely never happen. “If I buy a new car, some fool will put a dent in it.” True. Eventually, all cars get dents and scratches. “If I tell the doctor about my stomach ache, he/she will put me in the hospital and run all sorts of tests.” Possibly, and just as probably, the doctor will tell you that your stomach hurts because you’re eating something that isn’t good for you. All you have to do is eliminate that item and all will be well. I know, that particular food is delicious and life will be miserable without it. However, we just might learn to like celery if we smile when we eat it.

I’ve been fretting a lot lately about health issues. Nothing is seriously wrong. I just have several minor issues that need attention. I’m not fretting that I have a terrible condition. I’m fretting because my issues require temporary exercise and outdoor limitations, the weather is beautiful and I want to be outside having fun this time of year. I’m fretting and pouting about something very minor in the larger view of life experiences. Yet to me, they seem gigantic and fretting is draining the energy I could be using for something productive, even if it is in the house. I might think, “This will give me time to dust the ceiling fan.” Yeah, right!

At the same time I’m pointing my finger at my health care providers because their treatments are causing my short-term discomfort. My health care providers did not cause these issues, my own carelessness did. Over the years I have been careless about following their advice, so now I’m paying the price. Luckily, the price is very low when compared to what other people endure. I’m grateful that my discomfort is minor and I want it to stay that way.

As a result, I’m asking my guides to gently remind me to accept the blame for my problems, take steps to care for my health (and other issues) and stop thinking that anything else is more important. It’s hard to face, but a step I must take. I cannot blame my old behaviors on anyone but myself and fretting about the results harms no one but me. Well, except for the people who have to listen to me complain.

And, so it is.

© by Sharon D. Dillon, May 28, 2015

1 Window 781, by awindowofwisdom@wordpress.com

2 Pamela Harper, pamela@pamelaharper.com

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com

Thoughts to Ponder – Anger

June 4, 2014

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrong.” – Charlotte Bronte

 “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” – Indira Gandhi

“What I’ve learned about being angry with people is that it generally hurts you more than it hurts them.” – Oprah Winfrey

 Message

 People seem to be angry lately. We were angry in the 60s and 70s, but seemed to come back to our senses and live more quietly. During the decades since our world made a lot of strides and a lot of mistakes, but we grew and lived together in relative peace, that is, until the past few years when our personal, national and international anger has grown and become more dangerous for the citizens of many countries, including our own.

In some countries the citizens are overthrowing their governments. Others are being invaded by larger and more-well-armed neighbors. Some people think that anyone who has a different outlook on life should be killed. In our own country more and more people who feel alienated decide to take it out on others, sometimes many others. We then grieve for those who gave their lives.

Some of our politicians seem to think that the only way to achieve their ends is to set up blocks to any kind of progress or change. Some seem to think that anything proposed by the other political party is evil and must be obliterated. Some seem to think that particular politicians are determined to destroy our country. This was the attitude in the years leading up to and including the Civil War and several years after.

Do we want to relive those years with more deadly weapons?

Are we willing to see that we all bleed the same color blood?

Are we willing to try to accept our neighbors for who they are?

Are we and our politicians willing to listen to the others’ opinions?

Are we willing to accept that we all want the same outcome but are approaching the problem from different angles?

Are we willing to talk to each other and learn what is in the other person’s heart?

Or are we going to continue to act on what we think the other person is thinking?

 Meditation

 Creator,

Thank you for this beautiful world and all the people and creatures on it. Open our eyes to see that all of us just want what we think is best for our loved ones. Open our hearts so each of us can learn to accept the other for who he or she is inside. Open our minds to be willing to reach out to those we think are our enemies. I ask this for each person on our planet Earth, no matter who he or she may be. And, so it is.

 If you know someone who would appreciate reading “Thoughts to Ponder,” please suggest that he or she contact me at: energywriter@cox.net

Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Is author of one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com and available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.