“Let it go. Let it out. Let it all unravel. Let it free
and it can be a path on which to travel.”
Recently we talked about feeling our feelings. Today let’s go a step further. Often we deal with hurts by burying them and stewing for the rest of our lives. That means we feel our feelings in a self-destructive manner. The quote suggests we “Let it go. Let it out.”
Some people think that letting it out means that we scream and yell at the person who hurt, insulted or challenged us. While there are a few occasions that method will work, most times emotional outbursts will make it worse. We can try to discuss the situation quietly and see what happens. If that doesn’t resolve the situation, we have other options for letting it out.
We can journal, talk to a friend, talk with a professional, and feel the feelings until they dissipate. Most situations that upset us to that extent need a combination of those options. We can journal and talk to a trusted friend. If that doesn’t work we may seek professional help. Along the way we need to feel the fear, pain, anger, sadness, abandonment, disappointment or other label that will name the problem.
Actually, naming what we’re feeling is the hardest part. We often tell people we are disappointed or concerned to be diplomatic. Those are appropriate labels when you confront someone or are talking to a supervisor. When you are naming your feelings either to yourself or to an appropriate third party you can, and probably should, use stronger language. You can say whatever you need to say to get the feelings out.
Once the feelings are out in the open, you can begin letting go. In Al-Anon and AA one of the most used phrases is “Let go and let God” meaning that we must let go before God can take it away. Another common phrase is “Anything an Al-Anon lets go of has claw marks all over it,” meaning they hold on until the pain simply slips off the ends of their fingers from its weight.
Do you want to go through life holding on until the pain eventually slides out of your grip? Or would you rather let go before the weight gets too heavy and begin healing before the wounds destroy your body and your mind? Would you prefer to walk a smoother path as the quote says?
My choice, after carrying hurt for many years, was to begin letting it go. What a gift that was. Life is so much easier and lighter, the path smoother without the weight of old pains. That’s not to say I’m perfectly adjusted now, just much better and getting even better yet.
Thank you for teaching us that we don’t have to carry the weight of old and new pains. We can release ourselves from this burden by letting it go. We know that you will transmute the pain to feelings of calm. We know and trust that this is so for each of us, no matter our situation.
And, so it is.
* Unknown author, quoted on December 22, 2015 post at pamela@pamelaharpercom, “Inspiration 12-23-15 “Loving all of you”
© by Sharon D. Dillon, January 4, 2016
Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists
Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.