The signs are there

Thoughts to Ponder – August 25, 2015

“When people show you who they are, believe them.”

Dr. Maya Angelou

“I think we’re so desperate to believe that we’re lovable that we’re gullible.”

Pamela Harper

Dr. Angelou was a wise woman. From reading her books and listening to her speak we know she found wisdom the hard way. She told us to watch people’s actions and listen to their words before deciding to have a relationship with them. The same thing applies in the work place and in our social lives. Often we ignore those signs and don’t even think of them until our world has fallen apart. Then we realize that the signs were there all along.

It took me many years and hard knocks to learn this lesson. I committed to brutal, agonizing and demoralizing relationships. I had friends who gossiped about me behind my back while sympathizing with me to get more information. I worked at jobs that were demoralizing, rather than enhancing my life.

I hung on to those situations hoping that these signs were just passing episodes. I believed those men would change their stripes and become supportive, loving partners. I believed my friends really cared about my well-being. I believed that if I just worked a little harder the job would be the right fit.

Eventually, I learned that those people and situations were who and what they were and would not change. Even worse, I learned the signs had been there in the beginning, before I even made the commitment. That realization was demoralizing until I became aware that I’d suffered long enough and decided to change my way of looking at the world.

This knowledge led me to be more aware in various situations and discussions – not suspicious, but aware. I still look for the best in people and situations, but keep my eyes open for signs of disrespect. By being aware and learning to step away from potentially hurtful situations, I came to respect myself and my judgment.

What a wonderful lesson! I was not a hopeless klutz who kept falling into bad situations, but a wise woman capable of making intelligent decisions. The result: fewer negative people and events enter my life and many more happy experiences do.


Thank you for giving each of us the wisdom to see what is before our eyes, to recognize the signs before danger follows and to make decisions that will enhance our lives rather than damage them.

And, so it is.

  • From Super Soul Sunday, OWN, borrowed today from,  August 24, 2015

© by Sharon D. Dillon, August 25, 2015

Sharon D. Dillon,, “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”

Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists

Author of “Twins! Oh no!,” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by Available in print and e-format at