Thoughts to Ponder – June 7, 2016
“Live today by the Buddha’s words: ‘You could search the whole world and
never find anyone as deserving of your love as yourself.’”
Martha Beck*
Many of us grew up with the idea that we shouldn’t brag about our accomplishments or show off in any way. That is true to a certain extent, but often we take it to heart and become people who turn a compliment into a put down. For example, some might say, “I like that dress/shirt/haircut.” In return we respond by saying, “Oh, see this tiny spot on the sleeve,” or “I really wanted my hair cut this way.”
Not only are we devaluing the sincere compliment, but also we are telling ourselves that we are not worthy of receiving a compliment. Over time we begin to think that we are not quite as good as everyone else. That insecurity shows itself in every facet of our lives. We settle for jobs that don’t use all our talents, loves who don’t respect our true selves and friends who like us because we aren’t competition.
Living by Buddha’s words is difficult when we first start to implement them. However, we find that each attempt comes easier. Eventually, we find that we are getting hired for better jobs, meeting potential love partners who honor us and actually trusting that we are worthwhile humans who have friends who respect our talents and choices.
Even after learning that we deserve our own love, we can slip back into old behavior. I did this recently. A man complimented my new hair style and I replied by saying something about not liking the way my hair looked that day. Then I chastised myself for negating his comment and learned from the mistake. A few days later another man mentioned he liked my new hair style. I just said, “Thank you,” and smiled. That felt much better and I’m sure he felt better than the first man whose compliment was rebuffed.
That’s a long way of saying that when we learn to love ourselves we also show more sincere love to other people. We can only reflect what we feel about ourselves.
Spirit, Please give us a gentle reminder each time we fail to love ourselves. Remind us that we are the best we can be and we need to honor and love ourselves. And, so it is.
*Beck, Martha, Daily Inspiration, info@marthabeck.com, June 7, 2016
© by Sharon D. Dillon, June 7, 2016
Sharon D. Dillon, energywriter@cox.net, http://energywriter.me “Laugh your way to peace, love and joy”
Chesapeake Bay Writers, Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop, Southern Humorists, National Society of Newspaper Columnists
Author of “Twins! Oh no!” one of 14 stories in The Book of Mom: Reflections of Motherhood with Love, Hope and Faith, published by booksyoucantrust.com. Available in print and e-format at Amazon.com.
Laugh your way to peace, love and joy 
Nice to hear how to live better and then an example from you how you altered your behavior based on what you learned 🙂 Always helps it stick in my mind. I will chew on this!
Thank you, Tom. That’s the way I learn too. So glad I could give you something to think about.
The gracious and simple acceptance of a compliment encourages the giver to be open and to communicate, to take chances. What a great reminder to put out here, Sharon! Nice post!
Thank you, Daniel. Old habits are hard to break especially when we don’t realize they are hurtful.
Sharon, keep up the positive ideas.
Thank you, Dave. Did you recognize our conversation? I felt bad when I realized I had negated your compliment.
the devalueing thing is so true. i catch myself all the time when really, i just need to say thank you! it also helps the commplimenter by simply taking there compliment. it make there words more valued in there heads knowing its not just being shrugged aside.
So true. Thank you for taking a moment to respond.
Great read on looking at what ‘loving yourself’ means. At readings I would be advised to show myself ‘love’ and it couldn’t compute then, but slowly it’s starting to make sense and manifest.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I’m glad to hear that you are learning and growing.
Reblogged this on Unite-and-Inspire and commented:
This is so true! We need to learn to love ourselves and not only kindly accept the compliments we receive by others but look at ourselves daily in the mirror and say positive and loving words to ourselves. I recently wrote a post on how the words we say to ourselves and how we say these can have physical effects – check it out for more info 🙂
Thank you so much for reblogging my post. I haven’t learned how to do that yet. You are so right about self-talk. It took me a long time to break that bad habit.
Sharon, great self-esteem-related advice about accepting compliments in the spirit in which they’re given.
Thank you, Dave. That was a hard lesson to learn.
Good column. It is hard to learn to accept complements gracefully. But you are right, just say thank you even if it’s an old rag of a dress or the beautician cut your hair too short. No point making someone else feel bad.
Thank you, Sheila. So true. It took me a long time to realize that my “aw shucks” attitude didn’t help anyone.
Good reminder of thinking before we speak. This instant society takes us away from where we should be and remember that words written and spoken have an impact.
Thank you, Linda. Your comments show how wise you’ve become.